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Somehow, 8 years have flown by from this day:
Our sweet first born daughter. She is unique and full of independent confidence with a touch of sass (which often times gets her in trouble). Her name suits her, don't you think? Lauralyn: crowned with beauty... on the outside and inside, our precious girl exhibits this quality.
Half-way to 16. Although we do joke the attitude arrived 8 years early. A little mama in training, she dotes on Baby C as if he were her own. A real live baby doll, an 8 year old girl's dream come true.
She is smart and quick thinking, yet these past few months I have come to terms that she is not meant for homeschool. Her competitive nature needs other pupils to inspire her to push forward... and she simply does better for a teacher who is not her mother. I get that. It does not hurt my feelings, as she probably inherited that attitude from yours truly. Next school year, our hope is to send her and Isaac to a small private school in a neighboring city.
This month Lauralyn began piano lessons. We are excited to see if this becomes a passion for her, or at the very least a fun hobby. I personally hope at least one of our children inherited their Daddy's musical abilities!
The doughnuts were in lieu of cake and I can't take credit for the idea. Grandad suggested sprinkled doughnuts to match the card he sent. Perfect!
The days are long and the years are short... as the kids get bigger and older, I can't help but miss this:
I wrote two posts recently, neither of which I bothered posting. Some weeks are just hard, some people are thoughtless and I'll leave it at that. Such is life. On the flip side, I have some awesome friends and family who really, truly are a blessing to me. So, I have no reason to have a pity party.
Winter has decided to arrive the past week. I picked Kristin up from school at 10:15 this morning because the roads were getting icy. Last Friday we had a snow day with a limited amount of snow... yet, Isaac still managed to construct a pretty decent snowman.
When winter weather is in the forecast I try to stock up on a new snow tradition: cinnamon rolls. The kids love them and they are the perfect cold weather treat since none of them are fond of hot chocolate.
Baby C continues to be Mr. Popular in our house. We anticipate him leaving to move to a relative in the next 3 weeks or so. He has grown to be a happy, healthy, chubby boy. Well adored and loved, hopefully we helped provide him a good start to life. However, we don't look forward to his departure.
And Miss Lauralyn turned 8 last Sunday! I'll leave that for another post.
The final picture is of Daniel playing his favorite game of late: Candy Land. I know he wishes there was real candy involved in the game, but I think he settles for having mama's undivided attention for a few games.
Even though this isn't our first rodeo, I wasn't sure what to expect when we said "yes" to fostering Baby C. I knew I had no way of predicting my emotions... would my grief be stirred up? Would this be a disaster? Would I be able to be attached and love this little one well?
Mercifully, we are 4 weeks in and I can say that things are really going well. I adore Baby C. His presence and need of love has soothed my empty arms, yet, I don't feel he is at all 'replacing' Joel.
I ponder Baby C leaving, and I admit that does make me a little sad. To think I won't see him grow up, and see who he turns out to be. But at the same time there is a little safety in the thought that he is not here long term. The emotional aspect of fostering long term is turbulent at best.
Baby C has been teaching me to take it all one day at a time and simply not worry about that which I have no control over. While he is with us, I will love him fully, rejoice in his milestones (he is starting to "talk" which oh my is so stinking cute), and soak in his sweetness. I think during Daniel's first 18 months I was so obsessed with his future, I forgot to enjoy his present.
While driving home from the store today, an ambulance passed by with light and sirens blaring. My stomach did a quick flip flop, and as always, my mind shot to the image of my sweet Daniel, helpless in the back of an ambulance.
2012. One earth-shattering, dream crushing year. If I think about the events that unfolded in those 12 months, tears prick my eyes and I force myself to think about something else. Anything else.
There were many losses this year. There was a loss of security and control when Daniel had his first seizure... and then his second. I witnessed two babies I love leave this world. I walked through the shadow of the valley of death losing Joel, then my dear friend walked a similar path just months after me, and we said goodbye to Elliana. Two more of my close friends dealt with profound grief as they lost a sweet friend unexpectedly. I thought I was losing my mind as summer months went on and I had multiple panic attacks, and at least a few time I really thought my heart was going to explode. Many hopes and dreams crashed to the ground in 2012.
Yet, we survived. God held us through the storm even when it felt like He had turned His back. Throughout the trials were strategically placed mercies, none of which I believe were mere coincidence.
Enter 2013. My new hope is that this will be a year where the broken hearts last year left in its wake will be slowly pieced back together.
Please, Jehovah-Rophe, be ever present in my life, and the life of my family and friends.
I know that blogging has been on the back burner. I wish I had the motivation to write more, post more pictures. Not so that the public can read, but so that I have a record of our lives to one day look back on, and for the children to read when they are adults.
December was a whirl-wind. Baby C changed our lives instantly, going back into foster care AND caring for a newborn all with an afternoon phone call. He has brought such joy into our weary hearts, and made Christmas just a little extra special this year.
We did have a good month. The kids filled our house with excitement and wonder. And a little comedy thanks in part to Daniel. There is nothing like a 4 year old dressed completely as Darth Vader, singing at the top of his lungs, "Hark the Herald Angels Sing."
Lots and lots of cookies were made thanks to Noah, the coolest dad around. Kristin turned 6. SIX. How is that possible? And we stuck to Christmas tradition... this year, all 4 kids slept by the tree Christmas Eve, falling asleep to the Nutcracker on PBS. Grandad (my dad) gifted us with fun matching Christmas jammies, even sending Baby C a matching sleeper.
With a month full of happy chaos, we ended our year. A year we will quickly not forget.
