Slipping Sand

Lately, it feels like time is sand slipping through my fingers. Isaac is growing in leaps and bounds, turning into a handsome young man instead of the boy I have doted upon. Lauralyn, mature and lovely, looks older than her friends, easily passing for 15, not 12. Kristin approaches her final year of elementary school. It is Daniel and Joshua who keep me grounded... knowing I have a bit more time with them... but even so, Joshua is getting harder to hold, and soon, I will no longer have a child on my hip.

I had hoped to keep up with their days on this blog, but I have failed. Memories are easier to quickly post on facebook or instagram. There is sorrow in knowing I may not remember it all... that they won't remember it all... but I am reminded that memories of the past can quickly become idols. And I try to remember the shiny, happy moments, even though so much of it has been filled with frustration, exhaustion, and failures on my part as a parent.

Yet, these years of watching my children grow have been a precious blessing. The relationships made along the way have been gifts, too. I longed for my kids to have roots that would not be torn up by moves, and thus far, I have been blessed with the longings of my heart. Lifelong friendships, a unique and often taken for granted gift.

So, I will try to soak in these final years of Isaac and Lauralyn being in our home. It goes by too quickly. I will blink, and they will be gone... starting their adult lives. While that grieves me, it also thrills me to see them become the people God has called them to be.

Joshua... almost 4

Joshua... let me not forget the way you belly laugh like no other.

How you look up at me with the largest smile and ask, "You happy, Mommy?" To which I always reply, "I'm happy you're my baby."

Your excitement at the smallest things.

The funny "sad" face you make.

How you are fearless... which is sort of frightening.

The way you exclaim, "A ghost!" whenever you walk open a dark room or closet.

The way you say, "smismis tree."

Your love of apple sauce and how you like to eat it with a little spoon (1/2 teaspoon).

How much you love play-doh. And playing in the dirt path with your cars and trucks.

Your favorite phrase, "I like it."

Seeing any animal, "Look, it's so cute. It's a baby."

Hiding things behind yours back, and sheepishly saying, "I have a 'prize for you."

Your awesome dance moves. And wrestling moves.