Merry Merry

She's 5!

How can it be? Kristin is 5 years old today!



It has been 5 short years since God chose to bless us with this special child.



Unique, beautiful, and loved beyond measure.



Happy Birthday, my precious daughter!

Smitten

Twenty-four hours in, and we are all smitten. He is such a great dog. Quiet, loving, and happy. He is calm, too, for being a big puppy.

I can't stop thinking about his sister (litter mate) who is in the pound now. She is on the chopping block so to speak... the powers that be have yet to deem her worthy of adoption. She was surrendered by the same former owner of Jackson, but for whatever reason, he surrendered her a few weeks after Jackson.

Hmmmm. We could totally handle 3 dogs, right? Hint, hint, dear husband of mine ;-)

Jackson

Adopted today! We are all adoring him... well, look at him! What's not to adore? :-)

Dear Judah,

If I had it my way, I would be sitting in a hospital bed, counting your perfect fingers and toes, marveling at your sweet face, comparing you to your siblings.

If I had it my way, I would not have experienced the overwhelming grief over losing you. A grief that took over my being and would not stop tormenting me.

If I had it my way, I would have been able to replace you with another baby. Immediately. Instead, I wonder why, why God has closed my womb, and why God chose to take you away before I could meet you. I had waited so long for you, and then you were gone.

I won't understand God's plan until we are reunited one day, and I can see the tapestry clearly.

This has without a doubt been one of the hardest years I've faced, losing you. Every day it seemed I learned of another friend or acquaintance expecting a baby. Salt in the wound repeatedly... why did there have to be a baby boom this year? Blessings abound for others, while it seemed all I faced was loss. Two old friends gave birth to babies this very week. I should be posting your picture online, celebrating and rejoicing as they are.

The blessings have come, though. God did not leave me without a life preserver. Two friends who have walked the path of infertility and loss. I was not completely alone in my grief, knowing they understood. They understood how insensitive words spoken by well meaning (and often clueless) people could sting for days. How one could be so devastated at a "miscarriage" when the house is already full of children.

God has renewed my purpose, my hope, and reminded me that I am blessed with 5 incredible children, a faithful, strong husband, and loyal friends. God gave me the horses, when I was felt all hope was gone for joy in my life. This in no way negates how much I miss you, but it gives me reason to be thankful and rejoice in God's graciousness to me.

It has been a 9 month journey, starting with the joy of you, and ending, now, knowing you should be here, but instead wait for me in Glory. I have peace. Granted, things haven't happened the way I wanted, and seeing other people enjoy their sweet babies makes my heart ache. However, there will be a day that the broken will be restored, the dead brought to life, and our perfection will be made complete through the One who loves us most. I look forward to that day.

I love you, Judah.

~ Mama

I'm BACK! Back in the Saddle again.

Yes, the Aerosmith chorus runs through my head, hence the title.

After that wonderful anniversary weekend, I came home bound and determined to make riding apart of my life again. Horses have always been a big piece of who I am, and they have been missing from my life for a good 6 years. I stopped riding and instructing once Lauralyn came on the scene, and at that point I was 100% happy to be a full time mom.

Mothering is also a big part of who I am, but lately, it has felt like that was my entire identity. Starting my photography business has helped my creative needs, but something was still missing. I tried to take up jogging. While it was great for my endorphins, let's face it, a runner I am not. It border lined on torture or at the very least annoying.

In my searching, I found a nice barn, which actually has nice horses (not your typical half dead lesson horses). I have been taking lessons with the part time instructor who comes from Greensboro, mostly to help knock off the rust and get me jumping again. In between, I am able to ride as often as my schedule allows, teach a homeschool riding class to help cover my expenses, and use of the horses/ponies to teach my own kids to ride!



The facility is very nice. Nicer than any of the barns I have been to since leaving Farewell many years ago.

The horse I have grown quite fond of is a lovely mare named Abigail. She is really a perfect ride for someone like me. Complicated enough that I don't get bored. But she won't stop at a jump (I really have no desire to come off in my old age haha), and she is quiet enough to let the kids get on in the round pen. She has a rocking horse canter to die for... making the Arabian proverb come to life: The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears.


Here is a pic of Abigail... with someone else riding. I am smitten.

I am rotating the kids' turns out at the barn. On Tuesdays I take Kristin and Daniel. Kristin is my little rider. She would ride for hours if I let her. She even rides bareback without fear. Daniel lasts about 2 minutes and only will ride behind Kristin because he likes someone to hold on to. But, he talks about riding and going to the barn for the rest of the week.



Isaac is another natural. He loves being in the saddle, and has even asked for paddock boots and half chaps! (Much to Noah's dismay... he thinks English riders should all be girls, even though half of the big time riders and trainers are men, who make good money doing it).

Lauralyn enjoys going to the barn, but has more fear of riding, and doesn't stay on long. She really likes spending time with the animals, though, and is great at grooming the horses. As time goes on she may enjoy riding more.



I am feeling so blessing and thankful God has given me the opportunity to fit right into an ideal horse situation. It is far better than anything I expected to find, especially just a 15 minute drive from my house.

How can it be the middle of November?

Fall seems to rush on by. I suppose with it being my "busy season" with the photography
business, I simply go from one photo shoot to the next and life zooms at warp speed.
Christmas is in less than 6 weeks!



Here is our current life in bullet points:

• School is going well for all.
• I have started riding again.
• I am teaching a homeschool equestrian class.
• I am also teaching our kids to ride.
• We recently celebrated having Mr. F in our home for 1 full year.
• Next week we'll celebrate Mr. F's 14th birthday.



Beyond that, life continues to march on.
AND I actually got our Christmas card done already!
That is quite an accomplishment if I do say so myself.

Flashing Back... just 2 years.

Saw these and just couldn't get over how in just 2 years, my babies have grown up so much!










I remember he posed for this and asked me to take his picture :-)

Soccer 2011

This fall we took a break from baseball, and 3 members of the Haut House hit the soccer field.



Noah is coaching a YMCA team that both Isaac and Lauralyn are on.



Noah is also participating in an adult soccer league with some friends.



Both Isaac and Noah enjoy soccer... Lauralyn is another story.



I'm pretty sure we can cross soccer off her list of future careers (or hobbies for that matter).



But she is really cute prancing around the soccer field, avoiding the ball at all costs.


(This is one of the 1st and last times she got near a ball at a game ;-)



My guess is, we will have another soccer player in our family... but for now, the ball makes a decent pillow.

10 Years

Yes, we are still here. My lack of blog activity is a direct result of the busyness of the season. I do have some posts to catch up on... including the fact we celebrated our 10th anniversary a couple of weeks ago!





For 10 years we have been married. For 10 years we have lived in our house. Ten years sort of went by in a flash. I assume the next 10 years will be even quicker, which is slightly scary.





God has accomplished a great deal in our lives these 10 years. Growing us, stretching us, challenging us, blessing us. An abundance of blessings really, peppered with the occasional heartache. Plenty of character building, many lessons in loving one another and perseverance.



Ten years ago, I don't think I understood love. Or sacrifice. Both of these things came gradually in marriage, and went warp speed once children entered the picture. Love and sacrifice... living out the gospel at home (however living it much less gracefully and selflessly as I aught).



For our anniversary, we went away for 3 nights to a guest ranch in Georgia. The first long weekend trip without kids since Isaac came along. It was wonderful. And my darling husband was kind enough to give me a trip where horseback riding was a twice a day activity. (He actually really loved it).



Thank you, Lord, for giving me a marriage beyond my greatest dreams. A husband who is faithful, kind, generous, and even a little humorous... a man who loves me despite my craziness and selfishness. Thank you for blessing us with supportive extended family, and 5 children to love and hold on a daily basis. For giving us friendships and a church family that makes this small town home, a home we savor and enjoy. God, guide our steps as we set out on our 11th year, please continue to protect our marriage from apathy and discontent. Set our eyes on You and purpose us for Your glory. Amen

It's been a roller coaster ride.

Three weeks of "real" school have flown by.
And it has been a roller coaster of ups and downs
for all of us as we have adjusted to a new normal.



The first 2 weeks were pretty hard, I'll admit.
Isaac struggled, Lauralyn struggled, and in turn, I struggled.
The kids simply weren't used to being away from me for such a long period,
day after day.



Being in a class full of strangers didn't help.
Learning a new routine, rules, etc.
Making new friends.



But this week I have seen a huge improvement.
Granted, they still aren't thrilled about getting on the bus at 6:50 a.m.
(I can't say that thrills me either...I could use a little extra sleep).
They have both made friends in their classes, which is great.



I have spent a good bit of time in the school, helping in their classes
and having lunch with them.
This week, I took the 2 little ones with me to have lunch dates with both kids.
It's a pretty inviting school, and I have really enjoyed getting to know both classes.
The kids all seem very sweet.



Isaac will hopefully soon start the process to get extra help with reading and writing.
His teacher is so warm and positive... such a great cheer leader for Isaac.
She agrees he needs more help than the average kid, which of course I already knew.
He is so bright, I hate to seem him frustrated with reading.
Thankfully, math has not been a problem.



Lauralyn has struggled more with separation from me
a lot more than I thought she would.
I miss her as well, but I enjoy seeing her grow in blossom
in a new environment.
She has a natural thirst for learning, and I am tickled to see her
improve her reading and writing.
Her teacher is impressed with Lauralyn's "above grade level" math
and her impeccable handwriting :-)



I am feeling better and better about our decision to enroll them this year.
The guilt is subsiding.
I love spending extra time with Daniel and Kristin.



I have begun to teach Kristin to read.
Such a neat thing to hear a child read her first works.
She also has perfected writing her name.
I plan to do more advanced pre-school lessons as it gets colder
and we can't be outside so much.



Daniel is super crazy. Crazy smart, crazy cute, and crazy into everything obnoxious.
His energy drains me. And his rebellious nature can be overwhelming.
But man does he ever make up for it in charming cuteness.



Mr. F still is here. Plans are always changing in foster care.
Right now, it looks like he may be here a long time... fine by us!
He is in 7th grade and doing so much better this year.



As the pictures show, I took Isaac and Lauralyn to the county fair last Saturday.
I "ran" my first 5k that morning, went to the Richard Petty Museum with my dad
(who also did the 5k)... then the fair. I was SOOO tired that night. My feet were screaming.



They had a ball at the fair. Ride after ride.
I splurged and got them a funnel cake.
Okay, I got myself a funnel cake, but I did share.



Despite my screaming feet, I had fun watching them enjoy one another's company.
We don't typically partake in these events, so it was a new experience for them.



And I of course couldn't resist taking some fun photos. The colors are great for photography.
This concludes my novel of a post. At least I had lots of pictures to make it interesting!